Top 5 Reasons Why We Need A Trellis

Will is refusing to put up a trellis, he is still sticking to the idea that we shouldn’t touch the garden until next year, until we finish the long list of things we need to do, like put in a kitchen…

And I’m willing to compromise on the garden and will wait until next year to build the BBQ- but give the girl a trellis. I want/need this trellis to grow ivy up, not just because it is pretty, but for once, for a practical reason- to give us some privacy.

I can see into our neighbours bedroom for our kitchen.  It’s not cozy- I keep waiting for that awkward moment when I look up while doing dishes and drop my jaw and the plates.Our gardens are separated by a 4 foot wall- which means any and all ground floor activity is visible.

And I keep forgetting this.

Yesterday morning, I went to make a cuppa in my robe – I didn’t bother to tie the robe up and just let everything swing around- meaning my right boob was doing whatever she wanted. I looked up and caught the eye of our neighbour just as he was putting his garbage outside his door. I mean, this is getting out of control now. He went red, I went red. It got awkward.

So I’ve decided to compile a list for Will- on the top 5 reasons why he should build this patient girl a trellis.

Number 5

It will look pretty! I know there isn’t much space out there but having a trellis out the window with ivy growing up it will look sooo pretty and make me think I am not in the middle of the burbs. Everyone likes looking out the window to a bunch of greenery


Number 4

It won’t take that long to put up- lickety split and it will be done. Just an hour and I’ve checked with the local council, its all perfectly legal. We can build it up to 6 feet high and you can use power tools…. don’t you love power tools?


Number 3

And while we are talking about Tim the Tool Man- do you really think him and Wilson would have become friends if they could actually see each other. No. The best part of their relationship was the privacy.  If we want to be friends with the neighbours we need that fence of secrecy.


Number 3

It’s cheap- I’ve costed it all out and it won’t be more than £100. tumblr_inline_mgbvrjLnz51rxis0k

Number 2

Just saying….. this is not possible right now


Number 1

The neighbour has now seen my right boob. I’m not getting paid extra for this. animated-nipple-slip_-24edc1d2ced8

Come on Will, give your girl a bit of privacy from the neighbours. It is surely in your best interest.


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