Four Months of the Fredster

In so many ways Mama life is better than the one I had. My little man is over 4 months old now and he is just starting to get a personality. He giggles, wants cuddles and loves to play. All of these things make him less of a boob sucking creature and more human (well a human, boob sucking creature…. basically a man). And I love this little man more than words can describe.



This new life requires flexibility and the willingness to learn. I am a rookie at this, but so far there are a couple of things I would suggest to my friends without babies, just little titbits that I’ve realised over the past 4 months.

1). Mom Jeans

They shouldn’t be called maternity jeans; they should be called new mom jeans. You don’t just wear them when pregnant. In fact, spandex, fat pants and maternity jeans were the only thing I could fit in for ages.

2). Magnificent Baby Makers 

The appreciation you have for your body. Your body gave you the best gift ever, and then it’s also able to feed that baby and help it grow. It’s bloody amazing. I have this new respect for my body, despites it’s new bumps and curves. The media is whack, a woman’s body is beautiful not because of how it looks, but because of what it does.

3). Business of Babies

There is a whole business around babies that will try to convince you, you are doing things wrong if not using their product. Some moms can be like this to.  If you are not spending your days speaking in 3 different languages to your baby, whilst Beethoven plays in the background, there is no hope for your little one. The products are unbelievable, like the baby wipe warmer, so your little ones bum stays warm during the nappy change. And even if you do buy this ridiculous use of plastic, the earth mother will say you shouldn’t be using baby wipes, the chemicals in them will permanently damage your baby’s turd cutter. It’s shitty for everyone.

4). My Way, Is Better Than Yours

Hippies are everywhere- tromping around with no shoes and children named after spices, food or flowers. Watch out. For being a peaceful bunch, they judge hard.

5). Make New Friends

Fellow parent friends are where it’s at. You know how when you go to college and the people who are in your dorm become your friends for life, you might not have much in common with them besides being petrified of your new environment and a shared need for someone to sit with at the lunch table- but one crazy night playing beer pong and you are friends for life? We have been lucky enough to have friends going through the baby business with and this would be really hard without them. Coffee and play dates are the new beer pong for making mom friends.

6). But Keep the Old

Old friends and family are priceless. I keep telling Freddie how lucky he is to already have an army of fans and people who love him. Our friends and family have been unbelievable, from making us meals to showering Freddie in gifts and love. I can’t tell you how much it means to us to have such wonderful people to share Freddie with and who remember who we are, before we became parents.

That’s all I’ve got. The rest is a madness. You think you’ve figured something out, like how to get him to nap, and it works for 3 days, then it doesn’t and you’re back where you started. You know the saying ‘the only sure thing in life is death and taxes.’ Well that was written by a man who was not that involved in childcare and didn’t know enough about off-shore accounts. If a woman wrote it, it would be ‘the only sure thing in life is your baby will cry, your baby will love you and eventually yes, your baby will nap.’

Teething has just started so if anyone has advice on that, we could use some!

One Month of Freddie


We’ve had our Freddie for just over a month now and what we’ve learned this month is that the first lesson in parenthood is to go back to your pre-child self, have a gin and tonic and tell yourself to loosen up, all things you think you know about babies- well your baby is going to shit all over that and let you know that he is the boss.

Because around this house, at least for these first few months, Freddie is the boss. Want to go for a walk? Freddie doesn’t. Want to go to sleep? Freddie doesn’t. Want to take a bath? Freddie wants to go for a walk. We’ve looked for the instruction manual, and these babies don’t come with one, so we are learning as we go. It’s wonderful and terrifying. It  feels like the best thing you’ve ever done and then he doesn’t stop crying and you feel like a failure.

Motherhood is all these things and he can’t even slam his bedroom door and tell me he hates me, or run to me for a hug. But today I got my first real smile and the love that you feel from that is, just breathtaking.

So here is the good, the bad and the breathtaking of our first month with Freddie. Like all new parents we’ve had our share of vomit, shitsplosians and cuddles from our king kong sized baby.

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Image by Rebecca Douglas Photography - DSC_0312.


Image by Rebecca Douglas Photography - by Rebecca Douglas Photography -


Wehadababyitsaboy Meet Freddie!

We’ve had a baby its a boy! World, meet Freddie

Image by Rebecca Douglas Photography -

We’ve been in this blissful new baby bubble the past 2 weeks, where days roll in to one and turn in to weeks. Our Freddie John Simmons Durrant was born on the 24th of Jan weighing in at a generous 9 lb 10 oz. He is absolutely beautiful to us and after staying in our Freddie cocoon for 2 weeks, I now feel ready to introduce Freddie to the world.

With that large of a baby (especially for the first child) the first thing any woman thinks of is the armageddon of the vagina that must have ensued at his birth- don’t worry ladies the money maker is still in tact- this baby was only coming out through the sunroof. Although, it took us 72 hours in labour before this became apparent.

That’s right, 72 hours. He was big, back-to-back and not dropping down my cervix, with his head cocked the wrong angle.  That playlist was bullshit. So is Ina May Gaskin- burn her books. No amount of hippy motivation or hynobirthing would’ve helped. Despite consistent and intense contractions, this kid was not budging. I don’t know if that means he is very stubborn or very lazy, but he was very stuck. In some ways not having the vaginal birth makes me feel like less of a woman, but thank god for modern medicine and a kick-ass midwife team (gooooooo NHS).

Freddie is ready for visitors now. To be honest, I wasn’t ready at first. All sorts of emotions happen with a new baby, there is this intense love that you’ve never felt before and couldn’t imagine, as well as this new vulnerability that makes you feel very fragile. I needed time to get my head around all of this and  we needed to get to know our new son.

So friends, meet our Freddie. He is a little bruiser, who likes cuddles, late nights and boobs. And to us, he is perfect in every single way.

All photos from the fabulous Rebecca Douglas

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To see the whole collection of photos of Freddie go to

Select: Freddie’s Newborn Shoot
Enter Password: FirstBornFreddie2015